Re-Orientation

I had a really great crit today with Francesca DiMattio. She brought up a lot of the things that I've been struggling with/ trying to work out, which has put me in this post-crit mental state that's causing me to question everything I'm doing. Stressful, yes, but it's also a really great place to be because it allows me to re-assess the things I've been making in terms of what I actually want to be making. So, in the interest of re-orienting, I'm coming up with a "list" (for lack of a better term) of what I ideally want my artwork to be doing/ considerations that I think my art could benefit from. I'm gonna post it here just to remind myself:

1. Okay so, the frustration spiral is stemming from the fact that I need to focus more on making deliberate decisions/ committing to an intention. To a certain extent, I can allow the materials I'm using to dictate what kinds of decisions need to be made, but it becomes really complicated really quickly. I start asking myself questions like: Does something necessarily need to be a painting? What is the difference between a painting and a drawing--more specifically, how does something look/feel/act as a drawing that is different from the way that thing would look/feel/act as a painting, or even as a sculpture? Which context/ material is going to suit the intention best? Is there a way for everything to converge in a way that makes sense and serves the idea? Which then descends into the really awful territory of: What is my intention in the first place? What am I even trying to say?

2. Well, my main concern lately is providing an experience which activates/ engages/ empowers the audience. I don't know necessarily how best to do this yet...I do know that I don't want to be creating static/ safe pieces--I want the things I make to have some sort of impact beyond the aesthetic. I want there to be a certain amount of intensity involved. It could be as simple as presentation or scale, and it could be as drastic as completely altering the kinds of objects/ images I'm making. Or deciding if making objects/ images is even the best way to go--maybe I should be thinking in terms of installation works or performance even (think Yoko Ono's Cut Piece):



3. I'm increasingly trying to get away from the constraints of traditional dynamics. If we're sticking with images, this could involve moving away from the square, or exploring nontraditional media (I'm thinking cardboard or other gritty ephemeral materials), or figuring out a way to push the boundaries of the materials I've been using (which I kind of started to do with paint before I got distracted by this attempt to translate my paper cutting sensibility). But really, there are conceivably no limits to how far I could go.

4. I want to allow whatever materials I'm using to express themselves, which means embracing the particular character/ potential of individual media, while simultaneously infusing life/ energy/ purpose. Right now, I love wood because of the way it lends itself to building and constructing forms; paper is most engaging for me through a process of intricate cutting and layering; painting functions best when it presents in a crusting, oozing, slippery, dripping kind of mark that can simultaneously create form and atmosphere. Layering, building and composing are essential for all of these.

So that's kind of where I am right now. Still a really tumultuous place. We'll see what comes of it...